Every day, we search the web for impactful content produced by Sandboxers. Once a week, we choose the most inspiring, funny or brilliant piece and repost it here on our blog.

This week Melissa Kong shares the advice to think twice before asking for advice. Check out the original story here and give Melissa a follow on Twitter.

“Should I make chicken or steak for dinner?”
“How does this outfit look on me?”
“Do I go the corporate or entrepreneurial route in my career?”
“How would you solve this business problem?”
“Do you think she is the right girl for me?”
“Should I listen to my head or my heart?”

These are just several of the many requests for advice I overheard this past week alone.

We sure ask for a lot of advice from a lot of different people, don’t we?

Just listen for it this week. Listen to how often people ask you for advice. And likewise, pay attention to how often you ask for advice from others. I bet there isn’t a day that goes by where you don’t get asked for your opinion or request someone else’s.

When we are struggling with a decision or a dilemma, sometimes we tell whoever we can reach the fastest, whoever will listen. Other times, we ask for advice in casual conversation- not because we don’t have a sense of what we should do, but because we want reassurance or the ability to talk a situation through out loud. We’ve all done it. But it’s time to be more mindful of who we ask for advice from.

Why?

For one thing, advice sways action. Even if we think we can weed our way through good and bad advice, it’s quite difficult for any piece of advice not to impact us on some level. Advice either introduces new thought or reinforces old thought in a new way. We cannot help but be influenced by it. And even if the advice giver is well intentioned, we often cannot predict whether the advice we receive will rub off on us in a positive or counterproductive way.

The other reason is that people tend to give advice based on their own personal, limited history. They tell us what we should do based on their own set of beliefs, values and experiences. They offer guidance given what they would do or have actually done in similar situations in the past.

Have you ever asked for relationship advice from a friend that you trust- but doesn’t at all have the kind of love life you want? Have you ever received career advice from colleagues who are just as- if not more- confused or unhappy with their own careers? While we may love, respect and appreciate these people, will their advice really help us make the best decisions in our own lives? Chances are, probably not.

So…

Be strategic about who you ask for advice from. It matters. Stick to asking for advice from those who you aspire to grow like in some way, shape or form. Advice from anyone else is noise at best, and unfavorably influential at worst.

Don’t ask for love advice from your unhappily single best friend. Ask your grandparents who have been (mostly) happily married for 50 years instead.

Don’t ask for advice about your next career move from a co-worker who is struggling to make his/her own. Ask a peer who has built a successful career in a similar industry.

Don’t ask for advice on how to deal with a delicate situation from a friend who is typically more blunt and in-your-face than you’d prefer to be. Ask someone who’s communication style and problem solving ability you admire.

And don’t ask for advice at all when you already know what you should do. Trust yourself. Because ultimately, no amount of external advice can trump the advice of your own soul.

Much Love,
Melissa

As many of you probably have already heard, we have started in addition to our monthly (and often even more frequent!) events in 25 cities across the globe organizing small and intimate dinners / breakfasts / lunches with 5 or 6 Sandboxers and one experienced leader. Whenever we work with senior people, we try to apply the same principles we also do for our own community: we carefully select people that truly inspire us, we love diversity and try to bring them from as many backgrounds as possible and we try to create a setting where people can build real relationships (vs. “networking) and eventually collaborate.

The discussions we had at past events for example when meeting with the Swiss Ambassador to the US, the Cambodian Secretary of State, a cofounder of the Feed Project, or experienced entrepreneurs like Lars Hinrichs (founder of XING), has really brought us to a new level.

In the next few weeks Sandboxers will have the pleasure to meet with Johannes Matyassy, Ambassador of Switzerland and Head of Präsens Schweiz, Hansueli Maerki, currently board member at ABB, SwissRe, former Chairman of IBM EMEA and member of our Advisory Board, Martin Naville, Chairman of the Swiss-American Chamber of Commerce, David Bosshart, CEO of the Gottlieb Duttweiler Institute, Thomas Held, CEO of Avenir Suisse and Nick Beglinger, Co-Founder and CEO of the Foundation For Global Sustainability.

Who else should we invite?